De Futebol Chelsea Wins! The Blues are in Fourth Place!

The Blues righted the ship with a convincing 3-0 blowout win over bottom feeder West Brom.

Chelsea is fourth with 53 points.

Spurs drop to fifth with 52 points.

Arsenal stays in sixth with 45 points.

Man Shitty sits at the head of the class with 72 points.

Man U is second with 56 points.

Liverpool is third with 54 points.

EPL Match Report:” Eden Hazard scored twice as Chelsea returned to winning ways with a 3-0 win against West Bromwich Albion.

The Blues, seeking to avoid a third successive Premier League defeat, survived a nervy start when Salomon Rondon headed Matty Phillips’ cross wide and Jay Rodriguez sent a glorious chance wide with more time to make sure.

Ben Foster saved brilliantly from Davide Zappacosta and Olivier Giroud before Hazard struck on 25 minutes, with a turn, dribble and one-two with the Frenchman.

Thibaut Courtois thwarted Rondon on 57 minutes and Jonny Evans headed the ensuing corner narrowly over.

But the Blues took control when Moses started and finished a move with Cesc Fabregas on 63 minutes.

Hazard crowned a fine display by cutting in from the right to score his 11th PL goal of the campaign.

Chelsea move a point above Tottenham Hotspur into fourth place. West Brom remain bottom, seven points from safety.”

De Futrebol Man U stinks The Joint Out in a 1-0 loss to Toons. Liverpool wins!

Man U stunk the joint out in a 1-0 loss to Newcastle at Toons house. Couple this with Liverpool’s 2-0 win over Southampton the Red Devils lead over the Reds is now two points.

Man Shitty has 72 points.

Man U is second with 56 points.

Liverpool is third with 54 points.

Spurs are fourth with 52 points.

Chelsea is fifth with 50 points however the Blues take on West Brom later today.

EPL Match report on the Red Devils loss:” Matt Ritchie scored the only goal as Newcastle United beat Manchester United for their first league win at St James’ Park since October.

The winger struck on 65 minutes after Florian Lejeune had denied Alexis Sanchez an open goal at the other end.

In the first half David De Gea saved from Jonjo Shelvey and Newcastle goalkeeper Martin Dubravka on his debut denied Anthony Martial one-on-one.

Ritchie’s first goal of the season came when Lejeune and Dwight Gayle flicked on Shelvey’s deep free-kick for the unmarked Scot to finish.

Man Utd were denied an equaliser by two goal-saving blocks by Gayle and a stoppage-time save by Dubravka.

The win lifts Newcastle out of the relegation zone to 13th. Man Utd remain second, but 16 points behind Manchester City and four ahead of Tottenham Hotspur.”

EPL Match Report on the Reds win:” Liverpool eased past Southampton 2-0 to close to within two points of Manchester United in second.

The visiting team at St Mary’s led after just six minutes when Wesley Hoedt was unable to stop a ball down the channel and Mohamed Salah squared for Roberto Firmino to score.

Southampton responded well with Loris Karius frequently called into action in the Reds goal, but Liverpool went into the break 2-0 up thanks to Firmino’s skill.

His backheel on the edge of the area played in Salah to finish comfortably.

Liverpool eased off in the second half but still threatened more than Southampton, for whom the defeat and other results on Sunday mean they finish the weekend in the relegation zone.”

De Futebol Tottenham defeats Arsenal 1-0! Spurs are third for now! Shitty Blows out Leicester City 5-1!

Harry Kane scored the match winner in the 49th minute to beat Arsenal 1-0.  The win lifts Spurs into third place for now with 52 points.

Liverpool is fourth with 51 points.

The Reds battle Southampton later today.

Second place Man U travels to Newcastle later today tambem.

The Daily Mail on the Spurs win:” At times it felt like there was just Petr Cech. There he was, leaping to save from a Christian Eriksen free kick. And there again, sprawling to deny Erik Lamela or pushing away a Kieran Trippier strike. Just one goal separated the teams in this north London derby, but that didn’t tell the full story.

Tottenham, relentless, young and hungry, overwhelmed their opponents at Wembley in the second half. Harry Kane, inevitably, was the man who did take the chance which won the game. But there were several more. So many that nervous Tottenham fans must have felt rueful, fearing what was to come.

But nothing much did come. Arsenal must be pondering the fact that revivals aren’t what they used to be. Everton has proved accommodating guests last weekend, suggesting that the arrivals of Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang and Henrikh Mkhitarayan might spark a renaissance.

The newcomers had a more realistic assessment of their club’s predicament here. Arsenal deployed the cavalry. They ended up with six attacking players on the pitch. Yet still you never felt Tottenham losing their grip of this game until, thirty second from the final whistle, when Alexandre Lacazette was played in on goal.

And, then, for one brief moment you could believe Arsenal might be the equal of Spurs. As he connected with his strike, which beat Lloris, the Arsenal fans who had stayed, prepared to celebrate a famous draw. Yet, by a fraction, the ball cleared the far post and Spurs survived. It was truly the only major point of concern.

Tottenham entered a crucial five-game run two weeks ago, said to test their credentials. They face Juventus of Tuesday having taken seven points from Manchester United, Arsenal and Liverpool and progressed to the FA Cup fifth round. Incrementally, their advance continues. A Champions League quarter final would be another sign they are London’s coming team.

A bright, competitive opening gave way to a half of Tottenham dominance thwarted by Arsenal’s defensive discipline. Kane and Alli combined exquisitely on nine minutes and when Alli tried to play his team-mate back in, Shkodran Mustafi’s necessary interception had Petr Cech scrambling to save.

However, the additional attacking threat Arsenal have added was evident on 13 minutes. Tottenham seemed a little nervous of employing their usual high line and with good reason, given Pierre Emerick Aubameyang is always lurking.

ack Wlshere’s fine, threaded ball played him in and Aubameyang was ruled offside. If he was, it was only his head and it was only just. Certainly he was more onside than last weekend, when allowed to run through and score against Everton.

Thereafter though Arsenal seemed to content to concede possession and employ the kind of solidity they have been criticised for lacking in the past. The selection of Granit Xhaka and Mohamed Elneny was the clue; Arsenal would aim to scrap this one out in periods.

It worked for a while. They restricted Tottenham to limited chances. However, the one they had on 26minutes should have opened the scoring. The delivery was just superb by the excellent Christian Eriksen, a bending cross into the path of Harry Kane. He slightly mis-judged his run, rose too high to meet the ball and headed over from six yards out.

Eric Dier almost connected with Mousa Dembele mis-it on 30 minutes but Arsenal were absorbing and frustrating Tottenham. Their only significant moment came when Hector Bellerin skewed a 40th minute shot wide. When they did attempt to counter, there was none of last weekend’s slickness in the interplay between Henrikh Mkhitaryan and Mesut Ozil.

Delivered just perfectly into the box, it allowed Kane to evade both Laurent Koscielny and Mustafi, sneaking inbetween the two to head home decisively, the first-half miss now rectified.

Buoyed by the goal, Tottenham began to assert their authority. On 52 minutes Kane glanced a header wide; on 56 minutes he had a thunderous volley pushed away by Cech; on 57 minutes Cech was again called into action to tip away an Eriksen free kick.

Wenger’s response was to attempt to attack with Aubameyang going wide left, Alexandre Lacazette coming on as centre forward, Alex Iwobi playing wide right and Mesut Ozil reverting to the No.10 role. Yet all they could muster was a curling shot from Wlshere on 68 minutes which produced a fine save from Hugo Lloris.

Tottenham though were relentless, yet just not clinical enough. Alli poked a good chance wide of Cech on 72 minutes, Cech was required to pull off a fine save from Lamela on 73 minutes and then, when Eriksen dropped the ball into the path of Kieran Trippier on 76 minutes, the moment seemed to have arrived.

Yet Trippier drove straight at Cech who palmed the ball away. Still, the momentum of the game had been clearly established and Arsenal were just hanging on.

Everton took apart Crystal Palace 3-1.

The Toffees jumped over Bournemouth into ninth place with 34 points.

The Cherries battle Huddersfield later today. Bournemouth is tenth with 31 points.

Stoke City and Brighton and Hove Albion tied one all.

Swansea City defeated Burnley 1-0.

West Ham shut out Watford 2-0.

Man Shitty and Leicester City were tied at one all after the first half. Shitty broke out the whopping stick with four second half goals from Sergio Aguero to win going away 5-1 over the Foxes.

Shitty has a sixteen-point lead over Man U.

Man Shitty has 72 points while the Red Devils have 56.

Chelsea-West Brom duke it out at Stamford Bridge tomorrow.

De Futebol Chelsea got the Crap Beat out them by Watford

Chelsea got the crap beat out of them by Watford. The Hornets destroyed the Blues 4-1 at Vicarage Road.

This was an old-fashioned butt whopping the Hornets administered to the Blues.  Sure, Chelsea was down to ten men after the genius Tiemoue Bakayoko got his second yellow card in the 30th minute. Brilliant play was the order of the day for Chelsea. The result a 4-1 ass kicking proving how smart the Blues are playing.

EPL Match Report:” On his home debut after signing from Barcelona on loan, Gerard Deulofeu inspired Watford to a first win in six Premier League matches, beating 10-man Chelsea 4-1.

Watford started brightly at Vicarage Road and were helped by Chelsea’s Tiemoue Bakayoko being sent off on the half-hour for a second yellow card.

They took the lead through Troy Deeney’s penalty just before half-time following a foul on Deulofeu.

Eden Hazard equalised on 82 minutes with a wonderful strike but, two minutes later, Watford led again through Daryl Janmaat.

Watford scored twice more as Chelsea chased a second equaliser. Deulofeu finished off a counter-attack while Roberto Pereyra claimed the fourth.

Watford stay 11th but moved six points off the bottom three. Chelsea remain in fourth, one point behind Liverpool and one ahead of Spurs.”

De Futebol Arsenal Blows Out Everton 5-1!

Arsenal kicks ass and takes name in a 5-1 blowout win over Everton.

The Guardians Barney Ronay wrote:” Well, that didn’t take long. For Arsenal this was an evening of instant ignition, a 5-1 win that scarcely reflected their superiority against a meek and muddled Everton.

Arsène Wenger had enjoyed one of his more frantic January transfer windows, the doors of the Emirates revolving like the barrels on a Las Vegas slot machine. On a chilly north London day the fruits of those toils clicked beautifully into place. Most notably Henrikh Mkhitaryan produced a wonderfully deft display of attacking craft, creating three of Arsenal’s goals, while Aaron Ramsey rampaged unimpeded in central midfield and scored the first hat-trick of his career.

There were riches all over the pitch. Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang scored on his debut and showed signs of the supercharged speed he still has in reserve, the kind of speed that alters the entire feel of a game, and which Arsenal have lacked in a centre-forward since Thierry Henry left. Behind Aubameyang the re-signed Mesut Özil played like he had just woken up surrounded by the most wonderful array of birthday presents.

Even before kick-off there were elements of the Premier League at its brash, shopaholic best, with intriguing nuggets of rejig and relocation shot through both sides. Eliaquim Mangala made his debut for Everton while his team-mate Theo Walcott was applauded warmly on his return.

For Arsenal the new challenge of finding the space to cram in all their mature attacking galácticos saw Mkhitaryan and Özil providing a dreamy-looking creative fulcrum alongside the muscular prompts of Alex Iwobi. It all fell into place. The first half in particular had a sheen of quick-passing perfection as Everton were repeatedly scythed apart, albeit an Everton who seemed to have forgotten not just how to defend, but that defending existed as a concept in the first place. Afterwards Sam Allardyce described his team’s performance as “pathetic” and “crap”, complaining bitterly of the inability of his players to follow a gameplan.

Instead the traffic flowed one way, beginning with a beautifully worked goal after six minutes. Özil played a neat pass into Aubameyang, who laid the ball out to Mkhitaryan on the right. From his low cross Ramsey had space to tuck the ball home at his leisure. It was a goal that had some of that deceptive old Arsenal ease about it, the high-speed passing football Wenger is so keen to return to. And so it went on.

With 13 minutes gone Aubameyang had his first sight of goal, his shot from Ramsey’s cross blocked by a sprawling challenge. From Özil’s corner Shkodran Mustafi flicked on and Laurent Koscielny was free, almost on the line, to dive and head in the second.

Instead the traffic flowed one way, beginning with a beautifully worked goal after six minutes. Özil played a neat pass into Aubameyang, who laid the ball out to Mkhitaryan on the right. From his low cross Ramsey had space to tuck the ball home at his leisure. It was a goal that had some of that deceptive old Arsenal ease about it, the high-speed passing football Wenger is so keen to return to. And so it went on.

With 13 minutes gone Aubameyang had his first sight of goal, his shot from Ramsey’s cross blocked by a sprawling challenge. From Özil’s corner Shkodran Mustafi flicked on and Laurent Koscielny was free, almost on the line, to dive and head in the second.

Everton began the second half with a surge of Sam-driven energy. For a while they swarmed over Arsenal’s midfield as the home team looked a little sleepy and sated. Oumar Niasse hit a post but really should have scored, sliding on to Walcott’s low cross and colliding heavily with Petr Cech. They deservedly pulled one back, the substitute Dominic Calvert-Lewin planting a fine header past Cech from Yannick Bolasie’s cross. Cech left the field injured shortly afterwards, suffering from his collision with Niasse.

Tom Davies and Morgan Schneiderlin had been key for Everton in that period, as the visitors finally began to compress the spaces in central midfield. Ramsey demonstrated the other side of this on 74 minutes, striding forward and pinging a low shot past Pickford to complete his hat-trick from another perfectly weighted Mkhitaryan cross. With the decks cleared of malcontents and an infusion of high-class blood this felt like a fresh start to the season for Arsenal.

Mkhitaryan and Aubameyang in particular, so familiar from their Dortmund days, performed like a genuinely alluring bolt-on attacking part. The question from here, with ground to make up, is how far this regeared team can ride that thrilling early wave.

De Futebol Liverpool and Spurs Tie! Newcastle and Crystal Palace tie!

Liverpool and Tottenham tied two all at Anfield.  The tie lifts the Reds into third place with 51 points. Spurs stay parked in fifth place with 49 points. Chelsea slips to fourth place with 50 points.

Newcastle and Crystal Palace tied one all.

The Blues and Watford duke it out later today.

EPL Match Report:” Harry Kane struck his 100th Premier League goal with a penalty in the fifth minute of stoppage time as Tottenham Hotspur rescued a 2-2 draw with Liverpool in a frantic finale at Anfield.

Liverpool thought they had won the match through Mohamed Salah’s superb goal in the first minute of added time.

That goal came just four minutes after Kane had seen a penalty that would have put Spurs 2-1 up saved by Loris Karius.

Salah had opened the scoring after 134 seconds, pouncing on Eric Dier’s misplaced pass for his 20th Premier League goal of the season.

After the break Spurs took the game to Liverpool and Victor Wanyama equalised on 80 minutes with a powerful shot from 20 metres.

The draw sends Liverpool a point above Chelsea in third, while Spurs are a point behind the Blues, who play Watford tomorrow.”

De Futebol Man Shitty Tied by Burnley. Man U wins! Shitty Lead is Cut to Thirteen Points over The Red Devils!

Man Shitty jumped out to a quick one nil lead over Burnley at the Clarets house.  Danilo let one rip in the 22nd minute to give Shitty the 1-0 lead. Burnley didn’t give up. The Clarets equalized in the 82nd minute. Johann Berg Gudmundsson tickled the twines to earn a one all draw with Man Shitty.

This result gives Man U, Liverpool, Tottenham and Chelsea hope of catching the runaway freight train Man Shitty.

Shitty has 69 points.

Man U picked up a hard fought 2-0 win over Huddersfield at Old Trafford. The Red Devils scored two second half goals Romelu Lukaku 55th minute and Alexis Sanchez poked home the PK miss in the 68th minute for the 2-0 win.

The win cuts the Shitty lead over Man U to thirteen points.

The Red Devils have 56 points.

Third place and fourth place Chelsea trail Man U by six points.

The Reds battle Spurs at Anfield later today

Chelsea and Watford hook up tomorrow at the Hornets house.

EPL Match Report:” Alexis Sanchez marked his home debut with a goal as Manchester United returned to winning ways with a 2-0 victory over Huddersfield Town.

Jose Mourinho made four changes to the side that lost at Tottenham Hotspur, including leaving out Paul Pogba and Anthony Martial at Old Trafford.

It paid dividends on 55 minutes when Juan Mata crossed for Romelu Lukaku to steer in his 12th goal of the Premier League season.

Sanchez doubled the lead 12 minutes later, winning a penalty and scoring on the rebound after Jonas Lossl had initially denied the Chilean.

The result means second-place United took advantage of Manchester City’s draw at Burnley, cutting the gap to the leaders to 13 points.

Huddersfield, who are eight matches without a win, drop into the relegation zone.”

Bournemouth fell behind one nil to Stoke City. The Cherries scored two goals in the final twenty minutes. Joshua King 70th minute and Lys Mouset 79th minute found the back of the net to earn a 2-1 win over the Potters.

Brighton and Hove Albion blew out West Ham 3-1.

Leicester City scored first off, the strong left foot of Jamie Vardy in the 17th minute only give the up the equalizer in the 53rd minute. Federico Fernández poked home the rock to lift the Swans to a one all draw against the Foxes.

Southampton sprinted out a 3-1 lead over West Brom. The Baggies made it interesting with a score in the 72nd minute. Salomón Rondón nailed it to cut the gap to 3-2.

The Saints hung on for the 3-2 win.

Arsenal kicked Everton’s butts 5-1.

De Futebol Man U is blown out by Spurs 2-0. Man Shitty Wins! Chelsea Losses!

Let’s talk about shock city. Man U was destroyed by Spurs 2-0 at Tottenham’s house.

Tottenham set the tone with a goal in the first eleven seconds of the match. Christian Erickson found the back of the net for the quick one-nil lead.

The Red Devils were architects of their demise when Phil Jones booted one into his own net for the two-nil lead for Spurs.

Tottenham took apart the weak Man u defense.

EPL Match Report on Spurs kick ass win over Man U:” Christian Eriksen scored after only 11 seconds as Tottenham Hotspur beat Manchester United 2-0 at Wembley Stadium.

Phil Jones also scored an own goal as Spurs won three consecutive home matches against the Red Devils for the first time in the Premier League.

Directly from the kick-off, Harry Kane and Dele Alli flicked on Jan Vertonghen’s long ball before Eriksen swept in the quickest goal of the season.

Jose Mourinho’s side nearly equalised immediately but after being put through by Alexis Sanchez, on his PL debut for United, Jesse Lingard was thwarted by Hugo Lloris.

The hosts doubled their lead on 28 minutes when Jones turned Kieran Trippier’s cross past David De Gea, who twice denied Harry Kane a 100th career PL goal.

In ending United’s eight-match unbeaten run and moving to within two points of fourth-placed Chelsea, Spurs also set a new competition attendance record of 81,978. “

This was not the only shock of the day. Bournemouth Chelsea at Stamford Bridge 3-0.

Man Shitty strolled to a 3-0 win over West Brom.

Everton defeated Leicester City 2-1.

Newcastle and Burnley tied one all.

Southampton and Brighton and Hove Albion tied one all.

Stoke City and Watford tied nil-nil.

Man Shitty increases their lead over second place Man U to fifteen points.

Shitty has 68 points.

The Red Devils have 53 points.

Liverpool is third with 50 points.

The Blues are fourth with points.

The Reds are a plus 28 while Chelsea is a plus 26.

Spurs stay in fifth place with 48 points.

Arsenal is sixth with 42 points.

De Futebol Arsenal Sinks further into the Abyss! Liverpool Wins!

My guys from Arsenal stunk the joint out in a 3-1 loss to Swansea City at the Swans house.

EPL Match Report:” Swansea City handed Arsene Wenger only his second defeat to a club placed bottom as two goals from Sam Clucas earned a 3-1 win over Arsenal to lift them out of the bottom three.

Nacho Monreal had put the Gunners ahead when he met a curling ball from Mesut Ozil.

But within 60 seconds, Swansea were level as Alfie Mawson’s pass bisected the Arsenal defence and Clucas ran on to score.

Shortly after Henrikh Mkhitaryan came on for his Arsenal debut, Jordan Ayew put the Swans ahead as Petr Cech miskicked a backpass from Shkodran Mustafi straight into his path.

Ayew then set up Clucas to seal Swansea’s second successive victory.

The win lifts Swansea from 20th to 17th. Arsenal lie sixth, eight points off fourth place.”

Liverpool kicked ass and took names in a 3-0 blowout of Huddersfield.

EPL Match Report:” Liverpool moved five points clear of Tottenham Hotspur in fourth place with a 3-0 win at Huddersfield Town.

Emre Can opened the scoring with a low shot that deflected off Philip Billing on its way in.

Roberto Firmino doubled the lead in first-half stoppage-time when he scored from the narrowest of angles after Sadio Mane’s pass.

Mohamed Salah converted a 78th-minute penalty after Billing fouled Can.

Laurent Depoitre had been denied by Loris Karius early on, but Huddersfield offered little else before a late rally after a flurry of substitutions.

The Terriers’ fourth successive defeat leaves them one point above the relegation zone.”

De Futebol Liverpool Loses! What a Shock!

Liverpool was given the opportunity to keep pace with Man U and Chelsea. Instead the Reds lost to bottom feeder Swansea City 1-0.

The loss keeps Liverpool in fourth place with 47 points.

The Reds were coming off a huge win over Man Shitty last Sunday.

EPL Match Report:” Bottom-of-the-table Swansea City boosted their hopes of staying up with a 1-0 victory over Liverpool at Liberty Stadium.

Alfie Mawson scored the only goal to end Liverpool’s 14-match unbeaten run, a week after they became the first team this season to beat Premier League leaders Manchester City.

In the first half, Virgil van Dijk headed just wide in his first PL match since joining the Reds from Southampton.

Mawson capitalised five minutes before the break when a corner ricocheted off team-mate Federico Fernandez.

Goalkeeper Lukasz Fabianski then superbly saved a Mohamed Salah free-kick before a frantic final minute.

Roberto Firmino headed against the post and substitute Adam Lallana could not convert the rebound as Carlos Carvalhal’s side moved to within three points of safety.

Liverpool remain fourth, three points behind Chelsea and two ahead of Tottenham Hotspur.”